(is) MBA a useless piece of shit (!?)

Background

   As an IITian brimming with ambitions, greed, and a dash of delightful naiveté, I made the bold decision to leave the sparkling shores of the USA and return to India. My mission? To start my own company. But not just any company. I aimed to establish an innovative tech startup, breaking the mold of the typical service or app-based ventures. I envisioned a real technology company, one that would propel technology forward and add significant value to India.

However, reality had a different script in mind. Raising capital in India proved to be a Herculean task, primarily because my vision was a tad too novel for the Indian market. The VCs here seemed more interested in installing my non-existent app and counting imaginary subscribers.

As my quest to find suitable VCs within India turned into an exercise in futility, I began to question everything. From my birth to the very meaning of existence, everything was under scrutiny. In an attempt to escape this existential crisis, my co-founder and I sought refuge in a movie theater. There, an ad caught our attention: a group of IIM MBAs had started a milk business and, apparently, raised a boatload of capital. I jokingly mused that even buffaloes were now subject to the whims of MBA graduates.

My partner quipped, “Sometimes the buffaloes work for MBAs, and sometimes it's the IITians.” I experienced a rebirth right there in the popcorn-scented air of the cinema. From my toe-tips to the last hair on my head, a fiery passion ignited within me: to chase an MBA.

If MBAs can raise money for buffaloes, then surely, as an MBA, I can definitely raise funds for tech." With that thought, my new journey began

From Tech Titans to Hollywood Heros: The Elusive MBA impact

    Feeling like a drunken monkey with nothing on my mind but MBA, I began listing companies that revolutionized human existence in my domain: Intel, Google, Sun Microsystems, ARM, Apple, Facebook, Netflix, Tesla, YouTube, Cisco, Palo Alto, Arista, OpenAI, and so on. To my surprise, aside from Sun Microsystems, none of these game-changers were founded (or even co-founded) by MBA grads. Ashamed of my ignorance about MBA-driven companies (because, after all, they're the maestros of human progress, right?), I scurried to CHATGPT for enlightenment.

Beyond Sun Microsystems, the list bloomed with names, including Home Depot and Nike. Yet, most fell into two categories: the sages of advice (investment, travel, banking - did I mention banking?) and the trainers of future sages in, you guessed it, banking and management.

My search for tech industry titans hit a wall, so I veered towards Hollywood for inspiration, looking for movies where MBAs are the knights in shining armor (think Star Trek, Independence Day, superhero sagas). But no dice. Instead, I found teachers, lawyers, scientists, and even some fish and aliens saving the day.

As this thought exercise spiraled into oblivion, I clung to the hope of finding some hard, motivating data to justify my MBA aspirations.

Research

Top MBA Startup Founders:

1. MBA graduates have founded many successful startups. For example, Michael Bloomberg, a Harvard Business School alumnus, founded Bloomberg LP 15 years after graduating. Other well-known MBA-founded startups include Nike, co-founded by Phil Knight, a Stanford MBA graduate, and Grubhub, co-founded by Chicago Booth alumnus Matt Maloney.

2. 
   

Successful MBA Startups in 2022:

An MBA startup from INSEAD topped the list of 100 top-funded MBA startups in 2022. Notably, Gorillas, co-founded by INSEAD MBA Sukru Dagdelen, raised $1.335 billion, making it one of the highest-funded MBA startups. Stanford Graduate School of Business Class of 2020 MBA Lucia Huang co-founded Osmind, a mental health software company, which raised $57.2 million​.

Universities with High Number of Startup Founders:

Stanford University and Harvard University are among the top universities for alumni who have founded companies. Stanford had 1,427 alumni founders who raised $73.6 billion, while Harvard had 1,184 founders who raised $49.5 billion​.

MBA Graduates in Unicorn Startups:

MBA graduates have played significant roles in founding and growing unicorn startups. Examples include Grab, launched in Singapore by Harvard Business School alumni Anthony Tan and Hooi Ling Tan, and Nubank, launched in São Paulo by two Stanford MBAs and a Northwestern MBA​

Based on the data at hand, I had ventured to assume that the IT landscape was brimming with more than just 7-10 companies boasting revenues north of the $1 billion mark. However, it appears my assumption may have missed the mark.

Conclusion

Given this cauldron of data, should I wickedly conclude that:

• An MBA is a potent spell for fundraising, but maybe not the secret ingredient for conjuring a successful tech behemoth.
• Venture capitalists might be better served by seeking non-MBA alchemists, given the higher probability of striking gold.
• Once the tech creature is alive and kicking, MBAs could be the necromancers needed for global domination.

Or am I brewing the wrong potion here? I cling to this skepticism to keep my dream of pursuing an MBA alive. If I'm off the mark, do cast a light with your enlightenment!